Tuesday Weld, circa 1960. Photo: Public Domain.
Author's note: I do not vouch for any of the claims made in any article linked here. This is a fringe topic. For those who won't believe something unless it's in the New York Times, I'll say that YOU'RE the one who's nuts. But I'll also say this is for entertainment purposes only. I personally find "conspiracy" speculation entertaining.
“I didn’t have to play it. I was Lolita”. - Tuesday Weld
Today (August 27, 2022) the lovely actress Tuesday Weld turns 79.
Around 2009, I heard the self-described "crackpot historian" Adam Gorightly on the Binnall of America podcast discuss the theory that Ms. Weld was once Queen of the Illuminati.
Back then, I hadn't seen Ms. Weld in very many roles, and they were grown-up parts. I didn't know that she was a 1960's "sex kitten" legend. But from time to time I'd look into the theory just for kicks.
Sometimes, when a certain point of view is presented, and it has an internal logic, some part of me believes it even when there's no hard evidence.
And I want to believe that several of the greatest rock songs of all time were about the same person: Tuesday Weld. Because that would be awesome.
Do I believe the Druidic religion still thrives among the global elites and that Ms. Weld was a priestess? Maybe. And that its priestesses run the Illuminati? I don't know.
Do I believe the Illuminati actually exists? Probably not in any formalized way.
Do I believe that some people are selected from a young age for mind control experiments? Yes, probably. Noted author and alleged UFO abductee Whitley Strieber claims he was. Do I know for what reasons? No.
If some children were selected for mind control experiments, do I believe Tuesday Weld was one of them? Probably.
At least, something was going on with her.
Was she crowned Queen of the Illuminati in 1958-59 (or 1966) to usher in profound cultural changes?
Well, here's the thing. If the Illuminati exists and if she took on this role - if she had been trained all her life for this position - well, then, rock stars who sold their souls to the devil to attain (or maintain) their stardom probably had to have an audience with her.
If so, she would have been perfect. I suspect many who were dazzled by the opportunity to meet her came away dazed and confused. That's why believing she was Queen of the Illuminati is, well, fun.
The clues begin when rock & roll was still in its infancy.
When Tuesday was just twelve years old, she was cast to play a high school senior in the musical Rock! Rock! Rock! (She may have just turned 13 when the film was shot). The movie was released on December 7 (Pearl Harbor Day) 1956 and featured performances by Chuck Berry and several other popular acts of the time. It's worth watching because those are great numbers. There were also songs that were sung by the characters as part of the silly plot line.
For those songs, Tuesday Weld's voice was dubbed. Connie Francis provided the vocals.
The beautiful Ms. Francis was 18 at the time and soon became a music and movie star in her own right. So why didn't she play the lead?
And if not her, why not someone around that age?
Connie Francis, 1961. Photo: Public Domain.
Why was Tuesday Weld selected for the role?
It's strange. I don't think she could have had the part unless it was planned for her.
In any case, here is the first song written "for" Tuesday Weld. Weld's character wants a strapless dress for the school dance, but her father says she'll have to get a job to pay for it. That's, really, the plot.
Weld's high school boyfriend, played by the 21-year-old Teddy Randazzo, sings "The Thing Your Heart Needs."
Teddy Randazzo - The Things Your Heart Needs (1956)
The opening line suggests a theme that runs through "Tuesday Weld" songs:
I can't give you diamonds, I can't give your pearls
I can't give you palaces with princes dukes and earls
But when it comes to love, you'll have the things your heart needs.
I don't know if the songwriters knew Tuesday Weld would play the character that this song's about. Various websites claim that Weld felt pressure to make money for her family from the age of three, suggesting that wealth was always on her mind.
The next phase of the theory is quite disturbing. In the January 21, 1959 episode of Ozzie and Harriet, 18-year-old Ricky Nelson performs "They'll Never Be Anyone Else But You" for the now-15 Tuesday Weld.
The song was written by Baker Knight, who had penned several of Nelson's hits. I don't know if Knight had met Tuesday himself, or when, how, or why Tuesday had been cast as Ricky's girlfriend for the episode.
There'll Never Be Anyone Else But You
This again seems like a generic love song. It probably is! It probably is!
There'll never be anyone else but you for me
Never ever be, just couldn't be anyone else but you
But IF Tuesday is about to be anointed a high priestess or queen, then this is about undying devotion and loyalty that isn't merely romantic. It's dedicated to the life in service of the queen.
Here's the crazy conspiracy part. Around this time, Tuesday is alleged to have been exalted to a higher level in the Druidic/Illuminati order and a sacrifice was to be made on her behalf.
Three sacrifices, actually: Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper, and Ritchie Valens. Holly was born in Lubbock Texas, on the 33rd parallel (ahem). The airport they flew out of was in Mason (cough) City, Iowa. It crashed and they perished on February 3, 1959. "They'll Never Be Anyone Else But You" was released on February 9.
Some sources I've now lost suggest that there wasn't any intentional sabotage "on the ground" in Mason City, but that a magickal ritual from afar affected the thoughts, decisions, and actions that ultimately led to the three headliners being on the plane and that caused the crash.
I'm not sure if there was an intention for Nelson to fill the music void left by Holly. Nelson himself was killed in a small plane crash in De Kalb, Texas (on the 33rd parallel, not that that means anything) on New Year's Eve, 1985 when Tuesday was still the (allegedly) Queen of the Illuminati.
Accounts of Tuesday Weld's troubled life seemed to be deliberately mirrored in the 1962 Route 66 episode "Love is a Skinny Kid," available on multiple streaming services. In the opening. It's like the producers of Route 66 knew all about Weld, and wrote a fictional version of what happened to her, and then cast her in it. Even stranger is that Weld's character is 25 and Weld herself was only 18 when she played the part.
Weld's character is on a bus that passes this interesting sign:
Youtube has the first 12 minutes, which includes a scene of gay actor George Maharis trying to rescue Weld from Burt Reynolds' harassment. According to Adam Gorightly (pdf), this seemed to be a running theme in Weld's real life, where she felt the closest connection to gay men.
ROUTE 66 TV S2 E25 "Love is a Skinny Kid" [opening scene]
In the plot, a mother falsely claimed her daughter was dead; decades later in real life, Weld falsely claimed her mother was dead. Something's weird about all of this.
During this time, Weld had a reputation as quite the Hollywood party girl, so much so that Elvis Presley's manager Col. Tom Parker put a stop to their relationship. Presley didn't write "Devil in Disguise" himself, but songwriters Bill Giant, Bernie Baum, and Florence Kaye knew Elvis well.
You look like an angel (look like an angel)
Walk like an angel (walk like an angel)
Talk like an angel
But I got wise
You're the devil in disguise
Oh, yes, you are, devil in disguise
Elvis Presley - (You're The) Devil in Disguise (Official Audio)
Now we come to the question of Barbara Ann and the film Lord Love a Duck. Barbara-Ann was originally recorded in 1958 by The Regents, but it wasn't released until 1961.
The Regents - Barbara Ann (ORIGINAL VERSION)
The original lyrics had this:
Played our favorite tune
Danced with Betty Lou
Tried Peggy Sue
But I knew it wouldn't, do
I couldn't find a song about Betty Lou. "Peggy Sue" is obviously a reference to Buddy Holly's 1957 hit.
In 1965, the Beach Boys released their version of "Barbara Ann" their loosest and probably most fun record they ever made, considering how exact they normally were in the recording studio.
A slight lyrical twist:
Tried Peggy Sue
Tried Peggy Lou
Tried Mary Lou (a nod to Ricky Nelson's "Hello Mary Lou").
The Beach Boys recorded this while Weld was filming the role of "Barbara Ann Greene" in Lord Love a Duck. Although the movie doesn't feature the song, there seems to be an intentional tie-in, so that Weld's character would evoke the girl in the song. As Gorightly writes in TUESDAY WELD LORD LOVE A DUCK: THE INITIATION-ORIENTATION & PRESENTATION 0F THE ILLUMINATI HIGH PRIESTESS (pdf), "Her name takes on occult significance with the color green. Green is the highest color in Satanism and it is the sacred color of the Druids. It is not red as many people believe."
Gorightly goes in-depth as to why he believes that Weld's elevation to the highest office of the Illuminati was in 1966, not 1959. It's true that in 1966 things got really interesting. John Lennon said the Beatles were more popular than Jesus, and there was a more significant backlash in America than I would have imagined. Their popularity was in peril. The Beatles stopped touring, and John met Yoko Ono on November 9.
Also on November 9, rumor has it that a car crash allegedly killed Paul McCartney and another talented musician chosen by British Intelligence took his place.
I looked into that some years ago and have legitimate questions, but if I'd do the research all over again I'd be less reliant on someone who I later discovered blames the Jews for everything. I'll leave it at that.
Either way, I do believe that the Beatles got involved with occult rituals in which Paul symbolically "died" and the Beatles put hints in their songs and album covers. If the whole Illuminati/Weld theory is true at all, she was probably involved. It does seem from my perspective as an outsider who was born after the Beatles broke up, that both John and Paul became different, somewhat less likable personalities after 1966. George Harrison changed, too, but in positive ways of a young man growing in knowledge and spirituality. Ringo Starr remained good old Ringo.
Three Beatles songs are attached to Tuesday Weld. The first is I Am the Walrus, with the lines:
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you've been a naughty boy
You let your face grow long
And
… pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
The Beatles - I Am The Walrus (Official Video)
I'm not exactly sure how "Lady Madonna" applies to Weld unless Paul McCartney is saying Weld is vapid and unreliable and masked the criticism in the story of an irresponsible mother. I don't get it, but legend has it that the song's about her. One clue is that "Lady Madonna" is nonchalant and expects money to come in even if she's not working. If you have better ideas, let me know.
The last is "She Came in Through the Bathroom Window." Let's be clear: Tuesday Weld is not the one who came in through the bathroom window. Legend had it that Paul was plagued by a stalker, fictionalized who the stalker was, but in real life needed Tuesday Weld, as head of the Illuminati, to fix the situation: "Tuesday's on the phone to me."
She Came In Through The Bathroom Window (Remastered 2009)
If Tuesday Weld ruled the Illuminati and steered the Beatles to their creative revival and then their breakup, she may have also elevated the Rolling Stones, who seemed enchanted by her.
"Ruby Tuesday" is perhaps the most obvious of the "Tuesday Weld" songs. According to Vogue:
"The [ruby] is also mentioned at least four times in the Bible, usually as a representative of beauty and wisdom. Numerous early cultures believed, because of the stone’s likeness to the color of blood, that rubies held the power of life. Among European royalty and the upper classes, rubies were thought to guarantee good health, wealth, wisdom, and success in love. They’ve became some of the most sought-after gems."
The Stones will say the song is about Linda Keith, who was Keith Richards's girlfriend at the time. "A-ha! That's what they WANT you to believe!" The title of the song itself suggests that Tuesday Weld is royalty. What other woman is known as Tuesday? And we know already that Tuesday wants to leave the past behind.
The Stones' experience with Tuesday Weld inspired the name of an album, "Their Satanic Majesties Request." Included is a song from bassist Bill Wyman, "In Another Land."
In another land
Where the breeze and the trees and flowers were blue
I stood and held your hand
And the grass grew high and the feathers floated by
I stood and held your hand
And nobody else's hand will ever do
Nobody else will do
Then I awoke
Was this some kind of joke
Much to my surprise
I opened my eyes
The Rolling Stones - In Another Land (Official Lyric Video)
"She's a Rainbow '' is also on Satanic Majesties. It isn't really a romantic love song, but a song of awe that ends in discord.
The Rolling Stones - She's A Rainbow (Official Lyric Video)
Now we get to three of the three most iconic songs in rock history.
American Pie
The evidence that Don McLean dated Tuesday Weld is like verifying that Jesus of Nazareth ever really existed: there's no external evidence.
But if Weld really was this powerful high priestess who could make or break careers, she allegedly gave McLean an insight into how everything from Buddy Holly's death up to 1970 was orchestrated by her and the Illuminati. McLean's line "Bye Bye Miss American Pie" is akin to "she's the devil in disguise" and "stupid bloody Tuesday." I did not like this experience with Tuesday Weld.
For as much as we think we know what American Pie is about, it remains cryptic. I think if the Illuminati business is real, Weld guaranteed McLean would have one huge hit and the rest of his career would be up to him.
Don McLean - American Pie (Lyric Video)
Stairway to Heaven
This is another bitter experience with Tuesday Weld, Queen of the Illuminati, to whom Led Zeppelin band members had to pay obeisance. I wonder if they thought she implied that they were in it for the money, and they resented it.
There's a lady who's sure
All that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
Take away a dozen of the Beatles' biggest hits and they're still The Beatles. The same is true of The Rolling Stones. "Stairway to Heaven" is Led Zeppelin's signature song. As great as they are, I can't imagine the band without it. Tuesday Weld was their ironic muse; she inspired their greatest song even as they express their resentment for the fact in the lyrics.
Led Zeppelin - Stairway To Heaven (Official Audio)
Hotel California
Her mind is Tiffany-twisted
She got the Mercedes Benz
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys
That she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard
Sweet summer sweat
Some dance to remember
Some dance to forget
"Hotel California" is the Eagle's masterpiece, and, like Stairway to Heaven, seems to refer to a woman just as shallow and materialistic as the teenage girls Tuesday played in Lord Love a Duck and Rock! Rock! Rock! And, like Barbara Ann in Lord Love a Duck, she has power over men. Except in real life, the power Tuesday Weld had over men left them frightened, confused, and resentful.
CONCLUSION
Tuesday Weld as Queen of the Illuminati?
The dots connect if you want them to if you believe the Illuminati exists.
I don't know what happened to Tuesday Weld as a child, but I suspect she was exploited and abused in a lot of awful ways. I also think any attempt at "mind control" didn't work out as planned. Her psyche may have been damaged, but she couldn't be controlled.
There probably isn't a Druidic religion, but she's a priestess in it.
There probably isn't an Illuminati, but she's the queen of it.
What do I mean?
She had power over men. Elvis, the Beatles, etc. would have been more excited to meet her than she would have been to meet them.
Songs are written about her by men who've treated other women like trash but are frustrated that they never got the "relationship" they were hoping for from her. They felt like victims.
Do I believe Tuesday Weld was involved in magical/Satanic rituals that changed the course of human events? Probably not. Do I believe she was the muse of countless artists, far beyond those mentioned in this article? Hell yes.
This is the real Illuminati. It's not about installing a New World Order, it's about a woman who does whatever she wants.
Tuesday Weld's a survivor in more ways than one.
Happy birthday Tuesday!
James Leroy Wilson writes Daily Miracles, The Daily Bible Chapter, JL Cells, and The MVP Chase. Thanks for your subscriptions and support!
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