James Leroy Wilson's one-man magazine.

Thursday, December 12, 2019

19 Thoughts from 2019

1. Once I heard of it on the morning of July 10, I felt that Tracy Twyman's death would be a significant influence on the rest of my year. We had had very little contact, and all of it was online, and I didn't always stay on top of her projects through the years. Her friends and fans still don't know what really happened, and I'm thankful I've since connected to several of them.

2. Jeffery Epstein's death, ruled a suicide, prompted the same doubts within me as just about everyone else. But every time I saw an "Epstein didn't kill himself" meme, I added the thought, "and neither did Tracy." Although the lives and characters of the two can't be compared, it seemed they both knew too much about illegal activities regarding sex and minors. In addition, Tracy had other subversive ideas about secret socieites, the occult, and the very nature of reality itself. And the more I explored her ideas after her death, the more I understood that point of view.

3. There are several online investigators looking into various aspects of Epstein's death and other stories surrounding #MeToo and child sex abuse. I, too, would like to know more. But unlike some of them, I don't think we will ever "get to the bottom of this" and I don't believe justice will be served. 

4. Justice won't be served because civil institutions aren't created for justice, and never were. They're created for collecting revenue by force. It's not just a libertarian cliche to call The State a criminal organization; that is its essence even if it does perform services the same way gangsters might also run legitimate businesses. 

5. Secrecy enables The State to behave like an organized crime syndicate. We don't know what dirty deeds are ordered and carried out by its spy networks. There may be careful accounting in the Department of Labor (or perhaps not, just an example), but never in the Pentagon, surveillance, and intelligence budgets. If Epstein was murdered by hit men working for a spy chief or politician, you won't find cancelled checks in their name drawn up by the Treasury Dept. It's unlikely you'll find the command ordered through a top-secret, classified email.

6. Even so, some of these independent investigators believe Donald Trump is on their side and that he's bringing down pedophile rings, including child porn rings, across the country. Some think the Clintons killed Epstein and that Trump will bring them down, too. I haven't looked into this topic, and don't know if the Trump Administration actually is doing more than his predecessors in this regard. I don't dismiss the possibility.

7. I do think there's a civil war within the government, with varying factions fighting to protect their turf. Trump may be an instrument of "God's wrath" on some of the evildoers, and sooner or later someone else will be an instrument of divine judgment on Trump and his allies for their evils.

8. In  any case, I haven't followed impeachment proceedings and don't really care. Nor, at this time, do I care about the 2020 Presidential election. I don't believe in the Presidency and choose not to make it a part of my life, in the same way I don't believe in the Papacy and therefore don't spend energy dwelling on it.

9. I am an American and I'm not Catholic, so it would seem I should be concerned about the Presidency but not the Papacy. But the Presidency's influence is all over the world, just as the Pope and his Church impact hundreds of millions of lives of even non-Catholics. I'd actually have more influence if I gained the ear and confidence of one Cardinal than if I cast a vote for President, for just a couple hundred Cardinals choose a Pope, while it's more likely my vote for President will be lost through error or fraud than that it will impact the outcome.

10. I don't believe in the Presidency because no one person should have discretionary power to destroy another person's life. Not through starting wars, not through executive orders, not through spying on political enemies or regular people, not through raising taxes (e.g., tariffs) on a whim. An election, and holding office with term limits, does not justify actions that we'd condemn in an emperor or dictator. Regardless of the character of the nominees, no matter which one is the "lesser of two evils," the Presidency itself really is evil.

11. Regardless of the extent of one's activism, The State is an uncontrollable force. The hurricane may wipe you out, and the cop's stray bullet may end your life regardless of whom you voted for. Many throughout history have carved out lives of productivity and contentment even under brutal regimes and inequitable societies. We can only live our own lives, and they should be enjoyed even when the outer circumstances aren't ideal. 

12. If you feel you can make a real difference in ending a particular injustice and that's how you want to spend your time and energy, blessings to you. Keep in mind that other people have other priorities, and will hate you for yours. 

13. I used to think politics is like a religion. Now I realize its hold has always been stronger than religion. The Church might manipulate you by preying on your fears of the afterlife, but The State can prey on your very real economic fears, and scapegoat people live or think differently than you.

14. Nobody really wants you to "speak truth to power." Look at how Julian Assange, Chelsea Manning, and Edward Snowden have been treated by two allegedly ideologically opposite Presidents. There are a heck of a lot of outraged people who stayed silent when the post-9/11 warfare/surveillance state was being implemented, who now complain other people aren't doing enough to stop fascism.

15. People who tell you to be skeptical, only mean to question the teachings of your childhood religion. They don't really want you to be skeptical about anything else. They don't want you to be skeptical of political authority, especially not of "our democracy."

16. Much of what had upset me about politics were evils supposedly "done in my name." But, I didn't commit them. They were never done with my consent, and I had no control over how other people voted. 

17. My emotional divestment from politics allows me to observe it like natural phenomena. That is, with an awareness that it has a force of its own. I can no more control my fellow human beings than I can herd cats.

18. My divestment also allows me to see that, no matter what may be encountered in nature or in politics, that it's up to me how I perceive the circumstances. I don't have to be a victim.

19. Ultimately, I can let my inner world, my consciousness, be affected by the world outside my body, or I can let the outer world be a reflection of my inner world.

James Leroy Wilson writes from Nebraska. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter. If you find value in his articles, your support through Paypal helps keep him going. Permission to reprint is granted with attribution.

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