The Most Tortured Franchises; Plus, NFL MVP and College Football Playoff updates

 

Image: Torsten Bolten

In this issue:

• Most tortured franchises

• NFL MVP Chase standings

• College Football Playoff Update

Most tortured franchises

Happy Thursday, and a Happy Birthday to Bill Simmons, the most influential sports media personality of the 21st Century. For all his accomplishments in podcasting, independent media (The Ringer), and television (conceiving ESPN's 30 For 30), what stands out most is that he came up through the Internet, not through print journalism. I've heard him called the greatest sportswriter of all time by someone of a younger generation. I would disagree, because you can't compare the old-style newspaper columnist who had deadlines and word constraints with Simmons, who had much more flexibility and freedom. However, he was a great writer, and perhaps he'll return to it someday.

Back in early 2010, after the NFL conference championship games and before the Super Bowl, Simmons used the Vikings' loss to the Saints as the occasion to write about the most tortured teams in sports. He listed 15 teams but also mentioned all the other teams that, at that time, hadn't won a championship in 35 years.

Simmons may have updated the list since, and I'm sure others have created similar lists. I am updating the list Simmons made, although instead of the 35 years, I'm extending the championship drought to 50; I'm not going to put a team like the Bears, who haven't won the Super Bowl since 1985, on the "most tortured" list when a team like the Falcons hasn't won it at all. 

Five of the teams on the Simmons list have won championships, and 10 other teams, who had 35-year droughts as of 2010, have also won titles. I will rank them in the same order Simmons had them, removing the teams that subsequently became champions. With the new additions (11-15), I provide a brief explanation.

MOST TORTURED NFL, NBA, NHL, and MLB FRANCHISES

1. Vikings (Cubs had been #1)

2. Bills

3. Browns

4. Indians/Guardians

5. Maple Leafs

6. Knicks

7. Sabres

8. Jets

9. Trail Blazers

10. Mariners

11. Falcons: 28-3

12. Clippers: One of the winningest teams over the last 14 years (all over .500, ten times over .600), also 14 playoff disappointments and the two biggest owner scandals in NBA history.

13. Canucks: no Stanley Cup ever; two Finals Game 7 losses

14. Suns: Aside from the 2010s, good throughout most of their history, no title 

15. Padres: Never won the World Series; with the Chargers (who never won a Super Bowl) gone, they're all San Diegoans have 

NFL MVP CHASE STANDINGS

Methodology here. Data collected from Stathead.

College Football Playoff Update

Here are nine more teams that shouldn't and won't be in College Football Playoffs:

Illinois: 3-1; lost by 53 to Indiana

Tulane: 3-1; lost by 35 to Ole Miss

California: 3-1; lost by 34 to San Diego State

UAB: 2-2; lost by 32 to Tennessee

West Virginia: 2-2; lost by 31 to Kansas

Stanford: 1-3; lost by 28 to Virginia

Purdue; 2-2; lost by 26 to Notre Dame

Florida: 1-3; lost by 19 to Miami (FL)

Wisconsin: 2-2; lost by 17 to Maryland after losing by 24 to Alabama

Here is an alphabetical list of the 36 teams I've eliminated so far (I eliminate nine every week):

Akron, Army, Ball St, California, Central Michigan, Coastal Carolina, Eastern Mich, Florida, Georgia Southern, Georgia St, Illinois, Kennesaw St, Kent St, Louisiana, Louisiana-Monroe, Marshall, Massachusetts, Middle Tenn, Missouri St, Nevada, New Mexico St, North Carolina, Oklahoma St, Oregon St, Purdue, Sam Houston, Stanford, Temple, Tulane, UAB, UCLA, Virginia Tech, Washington State, West Virginia, Western Michigan, Wisconsin

I discovered a glitch after inputting last week's games that affected my college football data sheet, rendering its formulas inaccurate. I don't know when I'll have time to reconstruct and re-enter all the data. But I have ordered the remaining undefeated team by "dominance." Another way to look at it is to consider how many victories were blowouts, how many wins were convincing, how many were competitive but were still two-possession games, and how many were close, all summed up in a single number.

This is how I've ranked the remaining undefeated teams. It doesn't say much, in that some teams are 3-0 and others are 4-0. For instance, Ohio State's 3-0 start probably has the win of the year so far, a 14-7 victory over Texas, but it also played FCS's Grambling, a win that doesn't count in the Dominance Rtg, and has a blowout win over Ohio. USC, on the other hand, has two blowout wins, a convincing win, and a competitive win, all over FBS teams.

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Contact James Leroy Wilson for writing, editing, research, and other work at jamesleroywilson-at-gmail.com. Visit JL Cells for my non-sports writing.