James Leroy Wilson's blog

Sunday, September 05, 2004

A Jim Rome Clone Take on Atlantic Monthly

In the latest issue of Atlantic Monthly, most of which is not yet posted on-line (there's another form of media in the universe called "hard" or "print" copy - you see it at newstands and bookstores everywhere), I came across a light-hearted essay by Ian Frazier on how we, as we get older, confuse people with similar-sounding names, people with similar careers, or both. Everything begins to run together.

It is obvious that as we get older, the less we care about pop-culture things. Frazier wrote about black female pop singers with super-model looks and one name, like "Beyonce" and "Brandy." In his article, his point is that he forgot "Brandy." But he mentioned a third that he remembers and that I've forgotten, even though it's scarcely been 24 hours since I read his piece (I've since given the magazine away and can't look it up.) Oh, wait, I remember now, I think. Ashanti? The one I'm forgetting is a fourth who died while filming the Matrix sequels, who was named Ayatollah or Alana or Allejulah or something.

Anyway, in the expectation that The Atlantic, one of the best of the best magazines, won't run my letters, I will post them here. That's what a blog is for, right? My sense of humor, for better and for worse, is of the Jim Rome Clone (or check here) style:

Dear Editor,

All that we ask of Ian Frazier is that he remembers who played the girl in Blazing Saddles.

Sincerely,
Carol Kane, Bernadette Peters, and Madeline Khan

Dear Editor,

Carol Kane is a no-talent.

Sincerely,

Carol King

Dear Editor,

I totally appreciate Frazier's article. For years I thought that Grover Washington was the basketball player who threw that infamous punch that nearly killed Rudy Tomjonavich. Then I realized that Grover Washington was a respected jazz saxophonist, and it was indeed I who threw that punch.

Sincerely,
Kermit Washington

Dear Editor,

Anyone who would confuse Grover and Kermit are morons.

Sincerely,

Bert, Ernie, Miss Piggy, Fozzy Bear, Gonzo, and Cookie Monster

Dear Editor,

I am glad I am immune from Mr. Frazier's complaint. Of the people I meet, nearly two-thirds are pretty sure that I never starred in the movie Backdraft, or in the tv shows Homicide and The Young Riders.

Sincerely,
Alec Baldwin



1 comment:

  1. Anonymous6:58 AM PDT

    The R&B/Pop star that was suppose to appear in "The Matrix" sequels before she was killed in a plane crash was Aaliyah. She was also the niece of Gladys Knight.

    ReplyDelete